© 2014 Ken Klug
Monday, April 21, 2014
King Arthur's Plea
Shortly after Christmas last year I received a phone call from King Arthur.
“Lost-a-lot,” said the King, “I once again need your help. Merlin is on a one-year sabbatical, so you’re the only one I can look to. I do hope you’ll assist.”
“I am honored, My Lord. What’s up?”
“The rivers. The rivers are up. It seems that Merlin left his apprentice to watch over the castle while he is gone. The apprentice was practicing his spells, and made a mistake. He unleashed torrential rains and my whole kingdom is flooded. He hasn’t been able to undo the spell. I immediately thought of you, because anyone who can develop the perfect PB&J sandwich can surely handle this problem.”
“I’ll do my best, Art, but it may take some time. You realize, of course, that the perfect PB&J sandwich was years in development. Overcoming errant wizardry is much easier, but it still may take me six months or more. I’ll need to study maps, terrain, the water distribution system, the … .”
“Start immediately,” interrupted King Arthur. “Take as much time as you need. But please do solve the problem.”
“As it happens,” I responded, “I intend to come to England next summer. I’ll inspect your water distribution system while I’m there. In the meantime, I’ll commence my studies. We’ll get the problem solved – just like I dealt with all the rain during my 1200 mile summer.”
“One other thing,” whispered Art. “You must keep all of this confidential. If my subjects were to learn you were coming back to England they might panic.”
“No problem, Art. Remember, I’m a highly-trained lawyer and confidence is my stock in trade. Just ask my friend, Professor Ron. Of course, my presence in England can’t be hidden – what with my being a celebrity and all – but I’ll come up with a subterfuge to cover the real purpose of my visit. Nobody will ever know that I’ve been hired by the Crown to avert disaster.”
With a sigh of relief, King Arthur bade me goodbye, confident that I will preserve both his realm and his secret.
Not only am I a highly trustworthy lawyer, but I am dedicated to preserving history. Nixon had his tapes; I have my blog. How better to preserve history than to post it on my blog? Since nobody reads this blog anymore, King Arthur’s confidential request is preserved forever. The strategic ploy I’ve created to cover up my real purpose is set forth in my new blog, My Riparian Summer, located at http://MyRiparianSummer.blogspot.com. Nobody will ever know.
© 2014 Ken Klug