Shortly
after Christmas last year I received a phone call from King Arthur.
“Lost-a-lot,”
said the King, “I once again need your help.
Merlin is on a one-year sabbatical, so you’re the only one I can look
to. I do hope you’ll assist.”
“I
am honored, My Lord. What’s up?”
“The
rivers. The rivers are up. It seems that Merlin left his apprentice to
watch over the castle while he is gone. The
apprentice was practicing his spells, and made a mistake. He unleashed torrential rains and my whole
kingdom is flooded. He hasn’t been able
to undo the spell. I immediately thought
of you, because anyone who can develop the perfect PB&J sandwich can surely
handle this problem.”
“I’ll
do my best, Art, but it may take some time.
You realize, of course, that the perfect PB&J sandwich was years in
development. Overcoming errant wizardry
is much easier, but it still may take me six months or more. I’ll need to study maps, terrain, the water
distribution system, the … .”
“Start
immediately,” interrupted King Arthur. “Take
as much time as you need. But please do
solve the problem.”
“As
it happens,” I responded, “I intend to come to England next summer. I’ll inspect your water distribution system
while I’m there. In the meantime, I’ll
commence my studies. We’ll get the
problem solved – just like I dealt with all the rain during my 1200 mile summer.”
“One
other thing,” whispered Art. “You must
keep all of this confidential. If my
subjects were to learn you were coming back to England they might panic.”
“No
problem, Art. Remember, I’m a highly-trained lawyer and confidence is my stock
in trade. Just ask my friend, Professor
Ron. Of course, my presence in England can’t
be hidden – what with my being a celebrity and all – but I’ll come up with a
subterfuge to cover the real purpose of my visit. Nobody will ever know that I’ve been hired by
the Crown to avert disaster.”
With
a sigh of relief, King Arthur bade me goodbye, confident that I will preserve
both his realm and his secret.
Not
only am I a highly trustworthy lawyer, but I am dedicated to preserving history. Nixon had his tapes; I have my blog. How better to preserve history than to post
it on my blog? Since nobody reads this
blog anymore, King Arthur’s confidential request is preserved forever. The strategic ploy I’ve created to cover up
my real purpose is set forth in my new blog, My Riparian Summer, located at http://MyRiparianSummer.blogspot.com. Nobody will ever know.
© 2014 Ken Klug
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